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Area Scientist’s Study Confirms Own Prejudices
CAMBRIDGE, MA—In a study published today in the prestigious journalNature, Harvard professor Dr. Thomas Jacobson, an expert in the field of physical neuroscience, finds that the gangly cortex, the area of the brain associated with stumbling, fumbling, and general klutziness, is smaller in members of the Red Sox sports team than in other major league baseball players.
The study, entitled “Differential Size Analysis of the Gangly Cortex In Professional Sports”, was conducted using a technique called Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging, or fMRI, in which brain activity is observed on a computer monitor while subjects perform a mental activity. In his fMRI studies, Dr. Jacobson noted significantly less mental activity in the gangy cortex of Red Sox players when he asked them to visualize various aspects of a baseball game.
“Obviously far more research needs to be done,” explained Dr. Jacobson, “but this evidence does appear to support the popular belief that Red Sox players are just better than everyone else.”
The study could have major implications for the entire field of physical neuroscience, which examines how differences in the brain can affect performance in various types of strenuous physical activity, including baseball, American football, running the mile, hockey, and the biathlon.
“I haven’t seen the study but I think it’s extremely brave work,” said former Harvard President Lawrence Summers when asked to comment. “There’s an academic orthodoxy of political correctness that says you shouldn’t inquire too much into the differences between sports teams. Well, Dr. Jacobson has thrown that out the window and science is better off for it.”
The study appears in the July 27th issue ofNature, along with new research showing thateating chocolate is good for your heart,Jews are just smarter than everyone else,semen makes women happier, andall women are bisexual. A new study showing that having sex with scientistsis associated witha 20-point increasein IQis expected to be released soon.
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October 22, 2007